Titi Buster

This is Titi Buster aka BUZZI who was born on 31 October 2001 in Australia. He went to live with God on 15 June 2007.

Buzzi came to live with us on Chinese New Year's eve in 2002 when we decided to rescue him from the pet shop where he had been living for a month. We didn't think those were great surroundings and bought him out of his misery.

Buzzi came into our lives and became a real busybody, mischivious sweetie pie who terrorised his kor-kor Junior, and kor-kor FatBoy and che-che Bandit and Easter with his naughty ways. He barged in on everything that was going on. We got him two very interesting t-shirts to keep him clean when he went out - a busy bee t-shirt with the wings on it and a policeman t-shirt so that he can legitimately on on his inspections like the police patrol.

Buzzi never went to school like Junior - he was totally home schooled and learnt by following Junior's example. He shook hands readily when he realised that food would be a reward. Then it was be right hand and left hand, then right then left once he knew there were yummy treats around. He also gave his hand when he didn't want to do something - like have a bath!!

For meals, Junior would always say "Thank you God for my food, Amen" with a gentle woof. Buzzi would never say "Amen" like Junior - he would raise his hand in thanksgiving!! OK that was acceptable.

Anyway, we do miss him and he will always be remembered as the naughty westie who came and turned our lives upside down.

The kids next door ...

We have 3 boys next door - Dylan, Derek and Daniel. I think they are aged 6, 4 and 2. Hats off to their parents for the wonderful planning!

Dylan goes to school next year - he used to be a cry baby in the mornings, but he's now OK. I guess that is growing up for you. When we first saw him, he was a baby. He is now an articulate young man with many interesting observations. He also has the confidence of an older child because he is given more responsibilies - like opening the door when they walk up the stairs.

Derek is a little quieter - sometimes prone to crying because his kor-kor was crying. Otherwise he is also cute and articulate. Derek now has some responsibilites too - he gets to open the door when they walk up the stairs.

Daniel is the baby - he is a cutie pie who will come to stand at the door and look for Junior and Torrent. When I see Daniel, I will tell him "Hello Handsome Boy" and he gives me a toothy grin.

OK, I am not hot about kids. These young men are as good as they can get. Sometimes rude but not unbearably so, cheeky to the point of being funny but generally very well behaved.

I do like these kids!

Sarong Party Girls (SPGs)

Ages ago the term "Sarong Party Girl" was coined to describe a local Asian lady (e.g. Eurasian, Chinese, Malay or Indian) who usually dresses and behaves in a provocative manner, and who exclusively dates and prefers "angmo" or white men. The term first achieved international notoriety after the 1994 publication of Jim Aitchison's book "Sarong Party Girl", which offered a satirical portrayal of the SPG and related aspects of Singaporean culture. I read the book and found it hilarious. I have given the book to my angmo men friends who have been sent to work in Singapore to open their eyes to the spoils of the land!!

The stereotype Sarong Party Girl would be tanned, speaks with false foreign accent (try American or Australian), and is provocatively dressed. Of these three traits, I find the tanned skin OK because some people are just dark or tan easily. The false fake foreign accent is jarring on the ears because they get their tenses and sentences mixed up and she may suddenly sprout: DO you TOLD her about this problem?? Urrrrrrrrgh!!! The provocative dressing is also some form of ridiculous eye candy for me although I do wonder at their atrocious dress sense.

Many years ago, my neighbour was dating a Malay SPG named Maria. J told me that she was a teacher and he was really pleased with her "classy" ways and he was totally smitten with her. In reality, she was taken by his moolah. When we first met her, she was dressed provocatively. A short while later, she was really togged out in designer stuff that J had "showered" on her when Maria relieved J of his ATM card and went on a shopping spree. She was really gleeful at the extreme good fortune to snag herself a rich angmo who was willing to spend on her.

Maria went on shopping sprees at Salvatore Ferragamo and Dior and came back with large bags with shoes, a cutie small chain purse, quilted handbag, iconic bow belt, a snazzy wallet and other expensive pressies at regular intervals. One languid Sunday afternoon when we were in the communal garden, she confided that she wasn't really interested in J because he was an old man (J was at least 24 years older than her) by her standards. Maria also said that he was smitten with her, but she wasn't so with him but would stick around because he was generous. She gleefully informed me that she has spent about $20,000 of his money on herself and her family and friends, eating and buying presents. Wow!! I was totally stunned by her frankness and how callous or mercenary she was. OK, I do understand if the man wants to spoil you, but it seemed nasty. Could I say that she came from an impoverished family and she was just getting what she could, when she could??

I often really wondered if she was really a teacher because in some of the conversations we had, she sounded really brainless or dumb. Firstly there was the bad English sentence and grammar structure that cast doubts. Sometimes when us neighbours sat chatting and "gossiping" or when we talked about work, she looked totally blank or had that "catch no ball" expression. One day, I asked her if she found her students cheeky or tiresome or if she had any problems with discipline in class and she looked at me blankly and said that she didn't teach a class but assisted in a child care centre. I don't know if Maria misled J, or he was so infatuated with her that he could only see the wonderful veneer on her.

I never knew what happened of them because I moved out of Changi Village to my own little apartment nearer to civilisation.

Wantan noodles

The best char siew wantan noodles come from this little nondescript coffee shop in the middle of nowhere near my old office. Wantan noodle is not my favourite food; unlike my sister's son Christopher who ate the noodle for recess in school for 2 weeks till he was ill.

This coffee shop is called Soon Heng at the end of Joo Seng Road and Little Road, along Upper Paya Lebar Road.

The noodles are crunchy and tasty with sufficient bite that it does not feel mushy. The char siew pork is lean and well roasted. There are also crispy fried wantons to entice me too. The noodles are tossed in an oil and soya sauce mix that is fragrant. I am pleased to report that there isn't a drop of tomato ketchup in sight at this stall. The soup base is redolent of soya beans, pork and ikan bilis and does not have any MSG added to it.

His soi kow dumplings are also excellent - large and crunchy and well flavoured.

I think the icing on the cake for me with this char siew wantan are the fried lard bits. There is a large container of lard bits and I get lard bits tossed around in my noodles to make them the tastiest noodles as far as I am concerned.

I am there so often that I can order my noodles by just waving at the guy - same for my tea from the drinks stall.

This is bliss!

Decadent strawberries

I was asked if I would blog about the food we ate or the stuff that I cooked in my moments of culinary creativity. I figured - what the heck, just write and maybe one day I could be as famous as Gordon Ramsey or Delia Smith.

We came home from dog training (our regular Sunday afternoon activity) - dog tired from the searing heat, thirsty but not quite hungry. V has fallen asleep and forgotten about the Sunday deal to cook dinner. We thought of going off to the corner coffee shop to forage for some grub but somehow never moved our butts out the door again. So I rummaged the fridge for something light. I had 2 punnets of strawberries from NTUC from last week but somehow never got around to eating them. I figured this would be a good time to have decadent strawberries for dinner.

So easy that any bumbling fool in the kitchen could manage this with 3 ingredients. I started with the 2 punnets of strawberries, washed, hulled and cut into smaller pieces. I dumped the whole lot into a large bowl, hunted around for some booze in the cupboard but couldn't find the Baileys (Irish Whiskey liqueur with cream) but found the Kahlua (coffee liqueur) instead as a good substitute. I poured a very generous glug of Kahlua over the strawberries and tossed it around. The next step would be to put the whole lot into the fridge to chill and macerate till the favours are mixed.

But we went straight for the attack - I took out the can of whipped cream and squirted it all over the strawberries. Good quality vanilla ice-cream from New Zealand Natural is also excellent with the boozy strawberries!

Yeah - now you know why called decadent?

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Gluttony

These past two weeks have been gluttonous weeks. We were eating all the high calorie and cholesterol food - I think it was excessive, but excellent!!

The eating binge started on 21 September when we went to this place in Casuarina Road called Paris to have salted egg yolk crab. Paris is along the same row as that crispy roti prata place, at the other end of the block next to a Japanese restaurant. We went there with friends R & K with their son Luke for their wedding anniversary dinner. The other time we had a memorable dinner with R & K was on 11 September 2001 (yes 9/11) at Village Wok in Geylang, just before they got married and we were talking about wedding preparations. We went home from dinner glued to the telly, incredulous at the happenings appearing on the screen.

The next round of gluttony took place two nights later at Ah Yat at Turf City. It was my sister's son's birthday. The young 7 year old could tell his parents: I want to go to Ah Yat because I like the noodles. Since this is an only child, his parents agreed and off we went to Ah Yat to have another round of salted egg yolk crab. I would say that the Paris preparation of the dish was tastier and the crabs were meatier. Nevertheless, we still enjoyed the crabs.

Then on Saturday, I had to go to church for worship practice. Whilst there, our friends who live in Pasir Ris spotted HH on the MSN messenger and the Char-bor asked as we wanted to have dinner with her and Boy-boy. We agreed since we were hungry and they said to go to somewhere in Pasir Ris where they said that the salted egg yolk crab was good. We went to this coffee shop near Pentecost Methodist Church and ordered dinner of sambal sweet potato leaves, har cheong kai, foo yong egg and salted egg yolk crab!! The dinner was good, the company congenial and we enjoyed ourselves at the windy corner of the coffee shop. However we thought the crab was expensive for what it was because it wasn't as large as what we had at Paris and the taste not as fragant as Ah Yat's although we ate with gusto.

Then we went to this same coffee shop on Wednesday for dinner because we were up in church and had to get to the airport and we were hungry and we took V there for dinner. We ate exactly the same things.

We also discovered Salmon Belly soup at Sushi Tei at Serangoon Road on Friday. We were wondering what to eat and decided that Sushi Tei was the place to head for as it was on the way home, afforded quick food (from the conveyor belt), air-condioned premises and a decent price (meaning not too expensive!!). On the conveyor, I spotted the Salmon Belly soup and decided to try a bowl - on special offer at $6 instead of $8 - and anything at a discount could convince me to try it once. Wow! It was excellent soup - slices of salmon belly in a rich salmon miso broth with tofu cubes, enoki mushrooms, some Japanese cabbage and a few glass noodle strands. I am not a soup person but I slurped it up.

Then on Tuesday night, I felt like that Salmon Belly Soup again so HH and I headed there. This time I took a photograph of our soup and sent it to my glutton friend John to entice him. There was teaser captions of yummy soup, then more teasers of "enoki mushrooms and tofu" and "want some?" to bait him. We went home happy from a satifying meal.

We were in Orchard Road last night and when the topic of DINNER came up, we headed off to Sushi Tei at Paragon. We waited ages for a table, became really famished and ended up over-ordering and over-eating. The walk along part of Orchard Road to catch a bus to the Goo did us some good as exercise.

I am beginning to feel the effects of such gluttony and need to cut back on the scrumptious and decadent meals that we had in the past 2 or 3 weeks.

I am sure we live to eat and not the other way around.

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Taking the bus

We took the bus to Ngee Ann City this afternoon to listen to that vacation chat. We had decided not the drive to Orchard Road. We were at the office and I checked the bus guide - the 65 bus would take us all the way to Orchard Road and drop us off somewhere near there. If we left the Goo at the office and walked out to the bus stop, we would have to walk back to the office, so I told HH that we should park the Goo near the main road and hop on the bus.

So we drove off towards the main road, hunted for a spot near the bus stop that didn't break any traffic laws or incur any parking penalties and left the Goo there. We parked about 10 feet from the bus stop!!

The bus ride to Orchard Road was uneventful. The bus was air-conditioned and we managed to get seats, so the ride was comfortable. However there was this Filipino lady who provided us with entertainment. She was seated directly behind us and she had got onto the bus before we did. During the whole journey, she was on the mobile phone - alternatively talking in Talagog and English. We didn't pay attention to her conversation but she was still at it when we got off for Ngee Ann City.

After our vacation talk, a short walk along Orchard Road and dinner at Sushi Teh with V, we headed for the bus stop near Somerset Station to get onto the 65 bus back to the Goo. The bus would be in around 3 minutes, according to time the bus arrival guide displayed. We quickly got onto the bus and headed upstairs of the double-deck to look for seats.

HH told me to move forward to somewhere near the middle and we found our seats and plonked ourselves into our seats. We observed that there quite a few Indians on the bus and surmised that they would get off along Serangoon Road. A short distance further long, a whole lot of Indians onto the bus at Selegie Road. Our nostrils were assailed by the smell of coconut oil.

Less than 2 minutes earlier, I had offered HH some aromatherapy bergamot oil as he said he was tired and I had taken out my standby White Must perfume oil from Body Shop for myself.

We looked at each other and burst out laughing.

Betul cakap, saya tidak boleh tahan bau minyak kelapa dan bau pelur basi - busuk nya itu wangi hingga boleh muntah!!

I rummaged in my handbag and started dabbing my White Musk perfume oil again on my wrists to mask the nauseating odours.

Saya tahan itu bau busuk hingga kita sampai tempat kita letak kereta.

The bus ride back to the Goo was long and ardous - I guess we were tired from walking along Orchard Road, also taking into consideration the great BA-OO (or smells) I had to tahan.

It was a great relief to get off the bus and get back onto the Goo.

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Time Share Holidays

A few days ago, I received a phone call from a guy named Johnny who wanted to share with me about vacations - actually a time share under disguise as a "holiday plan". My phone (flat batt) died on me and I didn't bother with it again.

Then yesterday, Johnny called me again and said he wanted to intro holidays to me. I recognised his voice so I told him that he had called me previously. Anyway, as a reward for listening to the holiday idea Johnny said that I would be given $100 worth of dining vouchers at Marriott - yeah I am a glutton for anything that says FOOD, so I said OK and persuaded HH that he had to go as well today.

We arrived at Ngee Ann City and made our way to the Marriot Vacation talk. Whilst we were waiting, HH and I strategised about our answers and how we were going to react to the sales pitch and how we were going to wrangle our way out of buying a holiday.

Some guy met us and took us to a desk to chat about holidays. After some pleasantries, he asked about our holiday plans and where we go on holiday and how we planned our holidays. So I told him that HH and I travelled so much for our work that our idea of a holiday would be to just stay at home and do nothing.

Then continuing on that thread - I told this guy that there were occasions where we got up in the morning and wondered which city we were in. After a while, all hotel rooms look the same and sometimes, we forget our hotel room numbers or get them mixed up. :D ))

I also fed him the story of my friend Vivien who works for a telco company and how she went to Hong Kong for a meeting for 5 days - left Singapore early on Monday morning and returned on Friday evening, had a hot dirty weekend with her husband and disappeared to Kuala Lumpur for another 2 days for another round of meetings. Then her husband went off for work for 2 weeks and they hadn't really spent much time together that month!! BTW this is a true story that Vivien told me. Horror for trying to maintain a marriage or any relationship, as far as I know.

I think this guy knew that he could not sell us anything because we filled in the form or questionnaire and our answers were hilarious.

One question was: how many days do you spend on holidays - and the Marriott idea of holiday is NOT BUSINESS TRAVEL or staying with relatives, and my answer was ZERO.

Another question was: what is your idea of your an ideal holiday. My answer: besides the "stay home, do nothing" answer, I wrote "sleep, no phone/internet/email, beach, book, someone to do cleaning".

A question on where was the last holiday we took elicited the answer: Sentosa Island for 4 hours, Malacca, Penang and Kuala Lumpur.

Can you imagine the guy mentally shaking his head in horror at my answers??

Anyway, we got the information on how these time share holidays worked, the cost and our commitment.

Our next ideal holiday? STAY HOME AND DO NOTHING, GET SOMEONE TO DO THE HOUSEWORK AND LAUNDRY!!

That's good enough - no need to impress people with exotic locations - we only need to impress ourselves!

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Goo Vehicle Inspection

We sent the Goo for the vehicle inspection test required for all commercial registered vehicles in Singapore. This has been an annual affair since we got the Goo on 11 October 2000. The Goo has to pass this test before we can renew the road tax.

Since October 2006 Singapore adopted the Euro 4 standard for diesel engines. Our Goo has a Euro 2 diesel engine. So we wondered how we were going to do for the carbon emission test. In previous years, we passed the inspection with no problems. Last year, we also passed the test but we were warned for the broken tail light cover. I told the vehicle test centre that the agent didn't have the spare part so we couldn't change the cover and they let us go. OK - I lied because we were just too lazy to get it fixed. :-p

This time, we were in trepidation again because we don't really do very much about maintaining our Goo. We always tell folks around us that our Goo is agent maintained. No lie - we are totally agent maintained - all our servicing and washing since we started driving the Goo. We do very little maintenance other than the occasional coolant and tire pressure check. Excellent right?

The lower the score, the better the rating. The worse score acceptable is 50 where the carbon emissions are bad, but not so bad that it will fail the test. Anything over 50 is considered FAIL and a re-test is required.

The test inspector told us that we passed the whole test with the exception of the light alighment balance. Apparently all vehicles fail the light alighment test because going to humps and bumps will just throw the alignment off. The guy just gave me the PASS CERTIFICATE and was surprised when I asked for the test results sheet and more specifically the carbon emission reading.

The Goo received a rating of 13.5 - the guy told us that for a vehicle of our great age, the Goo is doing very well.

GOO PASSED THE TEST WITH FLYING COLOURS!!!

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Asshole clients and moving office

I have a pair of clients who are really asshole type as far as I am concerned and I am so pissed with them. Before you start wondering about how I can make such a judgement call on them, please note that I have known them for 12 years and seen through all their nonsense. I met Steven and Winston when I was working for my ex-boss. Steven went to university with him.

When they could not afford my fees, they offered me office space in exchange. They still owe me so much money that I am ahead of them.

They have had various companies over the years that sell sports equipment (fitness equipment for schools and specialty sports flooring) and playgrounds (rubber flooring and the equipment). They will set up a company, tender for jobs, mess around with whatever they do, take the profit out, and when the mess gets too great, they make use of the limited liability thing in companies, cease operations and start another company. They take over all the projects remaining, take the assets and make their staff continue in the new company.

So this is the story of woe of their staff. For many years, they only have one staff - a Malay lady named Gima who has been with them for 10 years. They have had sales people and in their mind, the sales people "cannot make it".

This posting chronicles the events of the last two weeks that have absolutely messed people around till they deserve divine retribution for the shit they have created.

About two Saturdays ago, Winston called HH and told him that we would have to move our office out because the landlord was pissed with them for not paying the outstanding rental. On Monday, I went to my little office to assess the situation and decide about what to take out and what do dump. I didn't say anything to Gima about moving or what else that was bothering them. I just casually informed Gima that she should be looking for another job.

In Gima's usual manner - she said "see how first" and this was the same response I received from her in the last 5 years everytime I told her that her bosses were messing with her and she should quit.

I told Gima to quit many times - I am sure over 100 times - because Winston and Steven really mess with her. They hold back her salary, pay part of the month and drag the rest, tell her to come back on Saturday and all the shit you can imagine. Their excuse for such behaviour was "no money to pay" or "money situation is tight" or "our fund is held up" - you name it, they have given all the crap excuses.

On Saturday, I went to the office to pack more stuff and decided to move on Tuesday 30 September 2008. On Tuesday morning, I went to see the landlord and asked them to hold the mail for me as a favour as I needed to make arrangements to change the office addresses for some of my clients. I also informed him that my movers were on the way, and that I was moving my stuff out. However, the instruction was already given to terminate the electrical supply to the office.

I went upstairs and told HH that the terminate power instruction had been given and it was a matter of time. Then I went next door and told Steven of the termination instruction. He just looked at me expressionless. I walked back to my office to continue packing with HH. Five minutes later, the power supply was cut. My movers had come, but there was no power supply for the lights.

The landlord's manager came to our office to check if I was really moving or I was just messing around. He saw the movers and very kindly turned the power back on for me to move my stuff out. Just before that, Steven walked out of the office and left Gima and the other girl in the office. Steven said he was going to meet Winston to discuss the situation.

In the past two weeks since I received the "move office" instruction from Winston, I have been telling Gima to look for another job because Winston and Steven were planning to move out of the office to Woodlands and would be killing herself to move to there with them. I got the usual reply of "see how first" reply. However I did manage to persuade Gima to go for an interview with a friend of mine. In Gima's mind, she was going to Woodlands with them and she couldn't give my friend an answer on a start date.

So on Tuesday, when the power supply was terminated - she was stunned. All the things I was telling her was coming true in front of her eyes. Those arse idiots abandoned her in the office. They hadn't paid her salary, and the next day would be Hari Raya. She was going to wait in the office for them.

So I called them with a real sandiwara wayang story about the shit they inflicted on Gima. I told them that Gima started crying because she was totally stunned by the turn of events. I was moving my office, the power supply got cut, Steven left her in the office with no further instructions and with all her domestic issues, she was falling apart. Winston told me that he would let her have some money for Raya (they were going to hold her money or renegade on paying) and he said he would have to borrow from me first. So late on Tuesday evening, I handed her $750 from Winston ($250 from his pocket and $500 borrowed from me). The look of relief on Gima's face was unbelievable as I had managed to extract cash from them.

This morning, Gima came to work in my friend's office as he had offered her a job when she came for the interview. However, I decided that I should do another Academy Award acting job with Winston to get cash from them for Gima.

Winston called me on my mobile then switched off the phone, knowing that I would call him back. I told Winston that Gima didn't get the job with my friend because in her mind, she was going to Woodlands so she could not confirm a start date. My friend wanted her to start immediately and could not wait for her. I told Winston that he still had an employee waiting for him. He expressed shock that she didn't start work with her new employee because she had informed him that she was leaving their employment.

I told him that I could only get her an interview but I could not force her to take the job. She could not confirm a start date with my friend, and since he could not wait for her and offered the job to another person. I fibbed that I had hired her son to help me with the office move and sorting of papers, so her son was in the office with me. Gima was still home waiting for either one of them to call her. Her son had said that his mother had sent the youngest brother to school and came home to wait for them to call her. I also knew that they could not get into the office so they didn't call her because they could not figure out what to do. I told Winston that I could not hire her because Gima was still under their employment.

I think Winston was stunned - he tried to get off the phone but he had to listen to me tell him off and about his responsibilities to his staff. Winston and Steven have effectively left their staff (the Malay salesman, a China girl designer and Gima) jobless by virtue of their selfishness.

NOW YOU KNOW WHY I CALL THEM ASSHOLE CLIENTS?? FULL OF SHIT!!!

Hari Raya Aidilfitri observations

Today is Hari Raya Aidilfitri - a celebration by the Muslims that lasts for 30 days after they have fasted for 30 days from sun up to sun down. In Singapore, the Muslims are predominately Malays.

The Muslims will be out in their Raya best clothes. They would usually be dressed in the same coloured outfits - yes - parents and kids in clothes sewed from the same bolt of material. Each family would be dressed in the same colour, and when they gather in different homes - there would be a myriad of colours. I think this phenomena is more prevalent in Singapore rather than Malaysia.

Some time back, a Muslim girlfriend of mine Gima and I were discussing names of people. Gima had informed me that a Muslim convert should use their new Muslim name as there was signficance in name. For want of a better example, when Cat Stevens (a stage name) became a Muslim, he changed his name to Yusuf Islam and should forsake his real Greek name Steven Demetre Georgiou. Otherwise a person name Tan Ah Kow could now be name Abdullah Tan or Abdullah Ah Kow to signify his new religion and status.

Gima's reasoning for this was that Yusuf Islam would be a name that has a deeper meaning. Gima also mentioned that other names didn't have any significant meaning either and only Malay or Muslim names were significant.

I told her that she was shallow in her observations. I also told her that there were names that were significant in Islam that are also significant in Christianity. So names like Moses and John become Musa and Johan in Islam or Malay.

Then I told her that some families could trace their lineage or ancestry or geneology by the centuries - in my family, our ancestral home still exists in the village and there is a person who records the names of the people. So this was a case of "Roots" by Alex Hayley or Kunta Kinte being practised by family historians.

I asked Gima if she knew the name of her great-grandfather or the origins of her family - which village they come from or their ancestry. She sheepishly admitted that she only knew up to her grandfather because she knew her father's name. Alamak - susah lah ini orang!! Dia semacam katak di bawah tempurung!!!

So I told Gima about the families who dressed in clothes that were sewed from the same bolt of material - they had to be in the same clothes to be identified as "se keluarga dan sama sedarah" because of their lack of a surname.

I do pray for my Muslim girlfriend to open her eyes and her mind to being part of a larger society and not deem or think that there is only one path which she feels is the only way.