Classmates turned relatives

I have 2 classmates from school who became my relatives. They don't know each other, but they married into my large extended family.

The first to marry into the family was my classmate Lilian who married my uncle Sam and that makes her my aunt. My Uncle Sam is my grandmother's brother's son. Uncle Sam is an after-thought child. His parents had a son who died when he was quite young. Then after some long stretch, they decided to have another kid and voila - Uncle Samuel (or Sam-sam) appeared. Uncle Sam's parents had him in their later years. Uncle Sam is the youngest of all my father's cousins and he is even younger than me!!

When we were kids, I never referred to Sam as "Uncle Sam" - in fact none of my older cousins did address him as Uncle since they were older than him. Then of course, it was a case of follow the older cousins, so he was never Uncle Sam to me - just Sam or Sam-Sam.

Anyway, when Lily and Sam got married - I believe it created an uproar of sorts in the family. Lilian was the older woman with her own money and could be quite dominating as well (from what I am told) but then girls from my school do speak their mind.

I never met them when they were dating, never heard anything about this girl and since I wasn't invited to the wedding (I am one generation down) I never knew that my classmate had become my aunt until grandmother's sister (Ee-mah) returned from USA to visit the family and I met Lilian and Sam together was man and wife. Boy was I stunned and I certainly kept away from them.

My Kim-mah became the maid in the home - she cooked and cleaned at home when Sam and Lilian went to work and also looked after the grand-daughter. My poor grand-aunt looked really gaunt when I met her a couple of times at family get-togethers.

Have to admit that I am not hot about Lilian even in school because she seemed like the really bitchy char-bor type.

BTW - since I have never addressed Sam as UNCLE, Lilian does not warrant that same courtesy from me to address her as AUNTY!

The next classmate to marry into the family was Corinne. She married my nephew Eugene who is about 10 years older than me. I know that my mother is Eugene's father's aunt. How we are related along this line is a little vague but I know that Eugune addresses me as AUNTY and he is so polite and addresses my mother as GRANT-AUNT!!

This gets even more hilarious. For many years, Eugene dated a much younger girl because he had this theory that he had to marry young eggs for his kids. His mother didn't like the young girl he dated and showed her displeasure.

I was invited for Christmas lunch at The Tanglin Club by ST (Eugene's mother's brother) - and was informed that the usual Christmas lunch suspects would be around the table. Then ST casually mentioned that Eugene would be bringing along his new girlfriend and that they would be getting married. I paid no attention to the statement other than something along the lines of "That's great - your sister approves I assume". ST told me - come and see, my sister approves!

So I turned up for Christmas lunch at The Tanglin Club with a small gift for my prospective niece to be - hmm...

When Eugene arrived with Corrine, he introduced me as AUNTY C and Corinne dutifully noted the relationship. Then during lunch, I whispered to Eugene: your Corinne used to go to school with me and was my classmate. She wasn't Corinne then, but I can give you her name in school. He looked at me stunned. Then he said to Corinne - Aunty C here says that she knows you from school. Corinne looked at me for ages and stared and stared for a good minute but she could not make out what I looked like in school. It just didn't strike her that Aunty C here would be her classmate and she demanded that I say something about our lives in school.

After a couple of recollections about school (the stink bomb explosion and the horrible teacher in Primary 6), Corinne let out a squeal (typical of girls from that school!!) and said - YOU ARE MY CLASSMATE! I AM NOT GOING TO ADDRESS YOU AS AUNTY - CANNOT!!!

We both burst out laughing and started exchanging notes. In all honesty, I hadn't seen Corinne since we both left school at 16 so it had to be nearly 20 years!!

Eugene still insists on addressing me as AUNTY - I think Eugene does that to make himself seem younger; and Corrine doesn't bother. I'm OK with that too!

Laksa yong-tau-fu

HH has to have his regular laksa yong-tau-fu fix on Saturdays every week! However now that he spends to much time in Manila, Philippines he doesn't get it so often.

This is our Saturday morning routine - get up, feed the doggies, get the newspapers and stay in bed to read then get up and about around 10 am to walk the doggies,. Then it is BRUNCH and we head to the laksa stall. Sometimes I do ask a really stupid obvious question: WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO EAT?? Actually there was no need to ask THE QUESTION - HH just smiles and we head off to the laksa yong-tau-fu stall.

We are so regular that we just pick the stuff that we want and hand our bowls to the lady and a few minutes later - the ambrosia arrives at our table.

HH usually has his see-hum or cockles added to his bowl of stuff and I think that is part of his addiction.

Mine is full of cuttlefish tentacles and kang-kong and whatever else that strikes my fancy.

There is also the regular soup or dry noodle yong-tau-fu as part of the menu. I sometimes have the cheapest "yau yi ong choy" in town - $2.50 for 7 pieces of cuttlefish tentacles and kang-kong together with my rice noodles - yummy!

Apparently this stall has been here at the same location for over 20 years.

This corner coffee shop is like something out of old Singapore - it isn't much renovated - the tiles are old and the large drinks fridge has seen better days and the formica counter is well weathered. There are old stone tables dotting the open area in front of the coffee shop and there are large leafy trees to provide shade to supplement the Tiger Beer umbrellas.

The best part of this deal - it's not listed on any food guide that we know about - not in MakanSutra or HungryGoWhere or any other food guide portal on the internet. No accolades plastered on the pillars or anything like that. Just a quiet little corner where the food is good and cheap.

So where's this place - Jalan Wangi off Macpherson Road, along the same row of shophouses as United Overseas Bank, next to some community centre.

Try it sometime - I don't think you'll be disappointed.

New Western food outlet

Today is HH's brithday - don't ask how old he is but just be content with the knowledge that he looks older than he actually is.

Anyway, for dinner tonight we decided that we should go out and HH decided that he wanted to go to that coffee shop next door to Courts at Ang Mo Kio after our usual Sunday activity of doggie training.

We were wondering what sort of dinner we should have when we walked into the newly renovated coffee shop when I spotted this Western food outlet that seemed really interesting. There was a Western food joint in the same spot previously, but this was totally new with a different chef.

We decided to have our dinner from this stall - and what a delightful dinner it was. We both settled on the New Zealand rib-eye steak. The steaks were a little thin compared to what I cook at home but I wouldn't expect a hawker stall to give me thick chunky steaks like what I would buy!

The steaks were well cooked and excellent. The presentation was simple - mushroom sauce or black pepper sauce on the steaks. We had steamed veggies and pototato wedges and mash potato. We also had some sort of Wardolf salad of red and green apple, raisin and strawberries tossed in light mayo.

I would say that this stall is worth a second and third visit.

Junior's little pleasures

Our golden retriever Junior is a doggie with simple pleasures. He loves sleeping in bed with Mama and Papa - especially in December when the weather is slightly cooler and there is plenty of rain, thunder, lightning and wind.

Actually he is terrified of rain, thunder, lightning and wind!!

He also loves having us run our fingers through his fur coat to look for ticks. Some folk may think this terrible, but it is really a time where Junior gets all the attention from either his Mama or Papa. No distractions from Torrent, just Mama and Papa running their fingers through his whole body and his paws and tail to hunt for ticks.

Walks (for pang sai) and car rides are his greatest joy - he gets to go out. The walks are great sniff sessions. He gets to smell the air outside. He also gets to sniff for rats in the bush line and maybe get a little excitement in trying to terrify them. He also get to meet people on his walks and say "hello".

The car rides promise greater adventure - he may get to go to church, or the laksa stall when we have lunch, or to the office, or even the beach!

He loves going to church because he gets to praise God. The laksa stall is great for observing people. The office where he gets to spend more time with Mama and Papa in cool air-conditioned comfort. The beach is great for the sea and sand and smells.

Such are Junior's simple pleasures - no worries in life!

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Christmas Day

We had a wonderfully lazy Christmas Day - there was no church service so we stayed in bed and caught up with our sleep.

It rained the whole of Christmas Eve - it was a cold wet miserable day. The sky was gloomy!

The newspapers were already delivered on Christmas Eve so I brought them up the bed with us. We tumbled into bed after coming home from Christmas Service around 2am.

We stayed in bed till 3 pm (yes! 3 o'clock in the afternoon!!) with FatBoy, Junior and Torrent. We really caught up with our sleep - I would say we slept about 12 hours, but it was really good to catch up on the sleep debt.

Intermittenly, we would rouse and look around and ask each other - have you had enough sleep? Then we grunt an answer so some sort and return to our slumber.

I did wake up to read the newspapers because they were conveniently in bed with us. Then went back to sleep.

The doggies were so happy to sleep that they forgot about their breakfast or going out for pee or pee. I guess FatBoy was a little peeved that he didn't get breakfast, but since he's so fat - the "starvation " was no hardship.

We realised that we could not sleep the whole day away. We got up and had bacon butties for our tea. Yummy sreaky bacon with salad sprouts on wholemeal bread was good and simple.

Then the great activity - we went to the beach at East Coast with the doggies.

We encountered lots of people, but we managed to get to a spot where we set up our beach mat. Junior remembered the beach and went running into the cold water.

Torrent just sat at the top of the beach and barked - we figured that it would be a hassle to give him a bath if he got dirty.

It was a lazy Christmas Day for us - wonderfully laid back and lazy with no need for any other human company.

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Rude folk

I have had enough of rude people in church - the kind of people who have no respect at all for the activities and think themselves very high and mighty.

This is what happened - we were having Christmas Eve service in church. There was this group of people sitting outside in the atrium making a lot of noise. I went out to ask them to keep the noise down since their activities were distracting.

The kids were running around and making a lot of noise. There were some adults around, one of them was the grandmother of the biggest trouble maker - Mathias, the son of the fishmonger in the church. She did absolutely nothing to control her grandson's bad behaviour.

When Mathias was reprimanded for his rude behaviour, she chided me in Hokkien for telling off her precious grandson for his bad behaviour.

I can only say that the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.

This sort of grandmother will the the downfall of the next generation - who knows, he may become a delinquent because he doesn't know what is discipline and how to behave in church.

We were always taught that when we visit a place of worship, we should be respectful of the activities going on. No extreme behaviour or rudeness.

In all honesty - I have had enough of such ill mannered people in church. They should just remove themselves if they have no respect for God.

Domestic Goddess

I have become quite a bit of a domestic goddess these days with HH away in Manila for two weeks at a time. I have to clear the pee and poo and mop the floor - have to admit that these are jobs that I am not hot about!!

Actually I am not hot about housework - it has never been my forte and I don't expect it to be. I grew up in a home where Mum went to work and the household chores where left to the old black and white amah who cooked and cleaned. So my whole idea was that I should work!!

Have to be honest - I have no idea how to clean the toilet at all. I am OK with mopping a floor if there is nothing in the room. Just one large area and I can mop that!! Put other stuff around like furniture and whatever else and I have no idea where to begin.

When HH said that we should get married - I had to confess that I was a hopeless housekeeper. Before we got married and I had my own apartment - I persuaded my aunt's Filipino maid that she could do with the extra cash and clean the apartment for me. What bliss! Espa would come every two weeks and she would clean everything for me.

OK, my forte is cooking!! I love eating and cooking althought I can get quite boring sometimes with whatever I cook. Then I don't have a problem clearing and cleaning the kitchen, but I really don't enjoy housework.

HH's absence is really making me clean the apartment since Espa has gone home and I have no idea who we can leave the apartment to since we have two dogs and 3 crazed cats.

Any suggestions for better housework flow?

Our chicken rice stall

There is this chicken rice stall that we have gone to for the past 30 ++ years. It's along Tanjong Katong Road, along the same side of the road as the Katong Post Office, next to the Caltax petrol station. It's part of my growing up years in Singapore.

It's at a coffee shop known as Keng Bee and it is still in it's original condition, as I remember it from all those years ago. There are still those bent wood coffee shop chairs for seats. Where they make the drinks at the back, there is this gleaming hot water dispenser - also been there for years.

This chicken rice stall serves the yummiest chicken ever - smooth moist chicken with a delectable layer of skin on the "white" chicken. Then there's the crispy roast pork and delicious char siew. The roast duck is also excellent. The rice is well flavoured and fragrant, but not oily or greasy. The simple chilli sauce is also more-ish when added with minced ginger and dark soy sauce. What can I say - ambrosia? Manna from heaven?

The boss who owns the stall only works in the day. Dunno what time he goes off. In the evenings, there is this surly, churlish balding guy. He never smiles, just chops the stuff you want and serves it to you. However, over the years I have managed to wrangle a smile out of him. His sulleness is well known with the regulars - never smiles, just growls at you and serves the food.

One evening, HH and I turned up for dinner. When I got there, I told him our order and smiled at him and asked if he had struck the lottery last week. Then he smiled back!! Wow! Then the guy behind me said - he never smiles but he has smiled at you.

When we were young(er!) we would be at this stall at least once a week. We would troop into the coffee shop and Dad would wave at the chicken chopping man - the boss! In a short while, we would get a large plate of all the yummy stuff on our table and we would be tucking in.

I could say that I grew up in the coffee shop with the coffee shop owner's kids - BTW they now run the place and it has gone into the second generation. The coffee shop boy would promptly deliver Dad's "kopi o kosong ice" whenever he walked into the shop. My parents have not lived in Singapore for over 20 years, but when Dad goes to the coffee shop for chicken rice - his coffee comes automatically.

Good huh?

The morning routine these days ......

HH has been going off to Manila for the past 2 months - this is his 3rd sojourn there since October 2008. We expect this madness to continue for another 3 months till the mess in the office or operations in Manila is sorted out. So in the meantime, I continue with my walks with the dogs and get the exercise going.

OK, the good thing about the walk is that I actually get some exercise and work up a sweat. My metabolic rate has gone up I am sure. My blood sugar levels have also improved a little I am sure. But all the eating that I do in between is not going to make it any better! ;-p

So our morning walk routine is like this - we all get up at 5:30 am (yes, it is a little crazy!). The doggies and meows get breakfast between 5:30 and 6. Before we leave home, I will pop my bread into the oven on a slow setting to toast. I will also take out my butter and the kaya and leave it on the table. Make my tea and leave it to cool.

Then we go for a morning walk and walk all over the estate. Junior has to go out to pee and poo-poo, so the morning walks are for him to smell around and be happy that he's got some fresh air and managed to chase some rat somewhere. He is really animated in the morning - he must be refreshed after a good night's sleep! Torrent is just happy to go anywhere that his kor-kor goes.

We get back from our walk at around 6:30, and I will sit down to my still warm toast and slather butter and kaya on it. I will also read the morning paper with my breakfast.

Then it is upstairs to get a good scrub and shower and get dressed for the office.

I guess this is a good routine to get into. Morning walk for the metabolic rate revved up. Breakfast of yummy things that put back the calories expended from the exercise, a shower to wake up and then drive to get to the office.

Of course I go to bed early because I am sleepy from waking so early!!

Early morning walks

I have been doing early morning walks lately - NO, the exercise bug has not come around to hit me!! HH has been away in Manila, Philippines for work for two week intervals. During this time, I need to get up early to take the doggies for their early morning walk.

I will rouse at 5:30 - very early by my standard. I get their breakfast done, feed them, then set my bread in the oven on low to toast, and head out the door by 6 for our early morning jaunt.

I have to confess - I am in my totally unwashed state. Yuck, right? Well I figured that I am going to walk and get all hot and sweaty, so I will just work up an early morning sweat. We leave home when it is quiet, and walk around the side of the blocks and past the school and to the large carpark and field. I guess the walk is about 1 km in length and it takes about 20 to 30 minutes to smell our way around depending on how hardworking we are about exercise.

The two of them will hurry to pee and smell their way along the route. Junior will then run to the bush line and do his "pang sai" thing and then become really happy to finish it. Torrent is just happy to go out for a walk and sniff around .

When we get home after our morning walk, they drink their water and I start my breakfast and newspaper routine.

Good night - need to catch my beauty sleep before we do our morning walk again before the sun rises in the east.

Wonderful service from M1

We went to the M1 shop at Paragon on Thursday. I went there to return the mobile TV trial phone that was lent to me - so that I can watch TV anywhere and everywhere under the sun (as long as I have battery power).

It was good trial - I watched the Olympics and the US Presidential elections. Also managed to catch some Brit soap drama and the History Channel that was really interesting.

We went to M1 around 6:45 pm and finally left at 9:15 - what a marathon there. First it was to return the phone and get a replacement SIM for that TV SIM chip. Then whilst we were waiting HH and my sister V went around the shop to look around and ask all sorts of questions about phones.

HH was just looking around and being kaypoh - the idea of buying a phone was not on his mind.

My sister was another story - she was also being kaypoh, but we managed to psycho her into getting a decent phone.

For the longest time ever, we have told V that her phone was horrible. Or maybe it was the human that was terrible? V would put her mobile in her handbag and then the bag is in her drawer - ON SILENT OR BUZZ MODE!!

So if you tried to get hold of V, you could never do it.

On her part, her excuse is that the service from M1 was terrible, the phone didn't ring and the SMSes came in batches.

Whatever it was - it was frustrating!!

Anyway, we told V to look for a new phone - she said I ONLY WANT A ROSE GOLD MOTOROLA.

We had no idea which model of Motorola she wanted, but M1 had some Motorola on their weekly offer at $98. We told V to go for it. She hummed, hawed and asked about the retail price of the phone - the shocker $498!!

V has this thing about her - she's so proud of the fact that she's never bought a phone in her life. She has taken all the hand me downs from everybody. She also has this thing about not wanting to sign for a plan and didn't want to be tied to a plan. Anyway, it was a no brainer - sign a plan and get a whopping 80% off.

I think the bulk of the 2 hours spent at M1 were on V trying to resolve her issues - amazingly, we managed to get her to sign for her own mobile broadband plan since she got herself a notebook 2 weeks ago.

The staff at M1 very patiently explained to V the different price plans and which one would give her the best value. That took very long because V had lots of questions and used their calculator. I think this is the product of her never having bought a phone or signed a plan with a telco. Even her present mobile line was arranged by me - I called my good friend in M1 to arrange for her to get a number similar to the one she had in Malaysia and arranged for the mobile plan for her - the cheapest possible till she could decide about what she wanted to do.

Then HH decided that he found a phone that he liked - some smartphone from Asus. A check with the girl who was doing V's sign-up, we were told that we could not upgrade for another 2 months. Then she disappeared behind and came back and said to us - OK, I will arrange for you to do the upgrade early without the $100 additional fee, we also get the $100 trade-in on the free phone from Singtel, and she did more calculations and we ended up paying $298 for the phone.

Now you know why we always say WONDERFUL SERVICE FROM M1???

Hero Husband

I have often been asked by people - how did you and HH meet? So this post is for the occasion of our wedding anniversary and to satisfy the curious people out there.

I met HH over the telephone on my first day at work - he was the first client I spoke to on my first day at work with a local accounting firm after I left a very large international accounting firm. Boss had rung me and said: someone will call you and ask you about the incorporation of companies, so please explain to him all he needs to know. He currently has a company with us, but doesn't know very much. The file is in the compactor if you need to refer to it.

I continued to talk to HH over the phone for over one year over corporate secretarial matters before we finally met. Even when we met, it was for work that I had to do for the company.

Then one day, I decided that I should get a computer and asked my colleague HY what sort of computer to buy. HY told me to look at the classified section at the computer section and see what this local company had to offer. Then HY pointed to a computer with some specifications that he said would be OK for what I wanted to do. Just after that HH walked into the office to return some audit documents. HY said - ask him, he sells computers so he should know what's a good deal. HH ointed to the list in the classifieds - buy this one; it has all the noise and lights and graphics to satisfy the girl in you. I went off to the shop and bought the one that HH told me to buy.

Shortly after that - the problems started from my own stupidity. I downloaded junk, virus and all sorts of stuff that slowed the computer, corrupted the hard disk and created havoc for me. In desperation, I asked HH for help. Told him I could not afford to pay for his services as a computer technician, but I could cook him dinner in exchange. Done deal!

I guess after that HH decided that the cooking was good and fair exchange. After that, there were more problems with his companies and I ended up doing more shit clearing work. My boss was very upset about the amount of time I was spending on the phone and told me - Please tell Mr N that we need to charge him for the extra work you are doing. When I told HH that boss wanted to charge for the additional work - he asked if he could call me at home. I said NO PROBLEM since the work was interesting.

Then Mr N would be calling me at night and asking all sorts of questions about corporate secretarial work, the intricasies of the corporate nitty gritty and mud slinging.

There was once, I was really tired of being in the office because boss was just passing all the shit for me to clear when he didn't come to the office. I had to deal with all the mess that was created by my colleagues' bad English - answer faxes, write a report, figure something for boss and answer dumb tax queries because boss wasn't answering them and when HH called, I told him that I was tired of dealing with the shit. He said that he would deal with boss - he called boss and said that his potential business partners were in town and wanted to meet with the company secretary to discuss about starting a new company and the corporate compliance. These people wanted to meet around 4 pm as it was their tea time. Boss called me and said that Mr N had called him, I should go and keep the potential clients happy by answering their questions. I escaped from the office to spend the afternoon walking around doing window shopping. Hee hee! Wow - I never thought of that creative way of getting out of the office.

After that, HH decided that he could go out with me on a regular basis since it was interesting. When we decided to get married, I quit my job to avoid any potential conflict of interest with my work,. I thought I could take a break before hunting for another job. My clients called and asked "who's going to do my work??" I told them BOSS LAH, and they said, we follow you and you do the work for us.

So that's how it started - I started a corporate secretarial practice before we got married (that's why I never assumed my married name) and we got married - satisfied now?

My new laptop

On Monday evening 27 October 2008, my trusty HP laptop developed a vertical line. HH tried to "fix" the problem by bending the LCD screen a little, hoping that we could move some liquid to cover the ones that were creating a problem. It didn't work. :-(

So I had to start looking for another laptop since I am totally distracted by that line.

On Tuesday morning, I called a good friend who used to work in HP and asked him - what sort of laptop should I get. He told me - look at the HP Compaq 6 series. So that started my quest for the new laptop.

I looked at Dell too, since they have all the pretty colours. In all honesty, I was eyeing a pink laptop but the price for the same configuration as the HP was more than double the price. The other not so attractive thing was the operating system - Windows Vista!! Having heard all the problems with Vista, I was determined to stay with trust XP!

On Wednesday morning, HH called Danny (a guy we know who works in a computer shop) and asked about the laptop I was eyeing. Danny said NO STOCK but you can have something cheaper that has a slightly older processor and has Windows XP Pro downgrade from Vista Business. Danny also promised me that it had a matt screen. Done deal - we booked the laptop and went to collect it and started the data migration.

So far so good - there are somethings from the old laptop that I miss. The old HP had 4 USB ports and a parallel printer port. This new thing only has 3 USB port and doesn't have a parallel printer port or the PCMCIA port. I cannot use the old printers that I have any more because I just cannot connect. The price of progress!

Anyway, to resolve the pink laptop I wanted - I went to http://www.garskin.com/ and selected a pink skin for my laptop for under S$50. It was delivered days later and immediately applied. I achieved my pink laptop without the hefty price that Dell demanded.

I am now content with my laptop!!

Titi Buster

This is Titi Buster aka BUZZI who was born on 31 October 2001 in Australia. He went to live with God on 15 June 2007.

Buzzi came to live with us on Chinese New Year's eve in 2002 when we decided to rescue him from the pet shop where he had been living for a month. We didn't think those were great surroundings and bought him out of his misery.

Buzzi came into our lives and became a real busybody, mischivious sweetie pie who terrorised his kor-kor Junior, and kor-kor FatBoy and che-che Bandit and Easter with his naughty ways. He barged in on everything that was going on. We got him two very interesting t-shirts to keep him clean when he went out - a busy bee t-shirt with the wings on it and a policeman t-shirt so that he can legitimately on on his inspections like the police patrol.

Buzzi never went to school like Junior - he was totally home schooled and learnt by following Junior's example. He shook hands readily when he realised that food would be a reward. Then it was be right hand and left hand, then right then left once he knew there were yummy treats around. He also gave his hand when he didn't want to do something - like have a bath!!

For meals, Junior would always say "Thank you God for my food, Amen" with a gentle woof. Buzzi would never say "Amen" like Junior - he would raise his hand in thanksgiving!! OK that was acceptable.

Anyway, we do miss him and he will always be remembered as the naughty westie who came and turned our lives upside down.

The kids next door ...

We have 3 boys next door - Dylan, Derek and Daniel. I think they are aged 6, 4 and 2. Hats off to their parents for the wonderful planning!

Dylan goes to school next year - he used to be a cry baby in the mornings, but he's now OK. I guess that is growing up for you. When we first saw him, he was a baby. He is now an articulate young man with many interesting observations. He also has the confidence of an older child because he is given more responsibilies - like opening the door when they walk up the stairs.

Derek is a little quieter - sometimes prone to crying because his kor-kor was crying. Otherwise he is also cute and articulate. Derek now has some responsibilites too - he gets to open the door when they walk up the stairs.

Daniel is the baby - he is a cutie pie who will come to stand at the door and look for Junior and Torrent. When I see Daniel, I will tell him "Hello Handsome Boy" and he gives me a toothy grin.

OK, I am not hot about kids. These young men are as good as they can get. Sometimes rude but not unbearably so, cheeky to the point of being funny but generally very well behaved.

I do like these kids!

Sarong Party Girls (SPGs)

Ages ago the term "Sarong Party Girl" was coined to describe a local Asian lady (e.g. Eurasian, Chinese, Malay or Indian) who usually dresses and behaves in a provocative manner, and who exclusively dates and prefers "angmo" or white men. The term first achieved international notoriety after the 1994 publication of Jim Aitchison's book "Sarong Party Girl", which offered a satirical portrayal of the SPG and related aspects of Singaporean culture. I read the book and found it hilarious. I have given the book to my angmo men friends who have been sent to work in Singapore to open their eyes to the spoils of the land!!

The stereotype Sarong Party Girl would be tanned, speaks with false foreign accent (try American or Australian), and is provocatively dressed. Of these three traits, I find the tanned skin OK because some people are just dark or tan easily. The false fake foreign accent is jarring on the ears because they get their tenses and sentences mixed up and she may suddenly sprout: DO you TOLD her about this problem?? Urrrrrrrrgh!!! The provocative dressing is also some form of ridiculous eye candy for me although I do wonder at their atrocious dress sense.

Many years ago, my neighbour was dating a Malay SPG named Maria. J told me that she was a teacher and he was really pleased with her "classy" ways and he was totally smitten with her. In reality, she was taken by his moolah. When we first met her, she was dressed provocatively. A short while later, she was really togged out in designer stuff that J had "showered" on her when Maria relieved J of his ATM card and went on a shopping spree. She was really gleeful at the extreme good fortune to snag herself a rich angmo who was willing to spend on her.

Maria went on shopping sprees at Salvatore Ferragamo and Dior and came back with large bags with shoes, a cutie small chain purse, quilted handbag, iconic bow belt, a snazzy wallet and other expensive pressies at regular intervals. One languid Sunday afternoon when we were in the communal garden, she confided that she wasn't really interested in J because he was an old man (J was at least 24 years older than her) by her standards. Maria also said that he was smitten with her, but she wasn't so with him but would stick around because he was generous. She gleefully informed me that she has spent about $20,000 of his money on herself and her family and friends, eating and buying presents. Wow!! I was totally stunned by her frankness and how callous or mercenary she was. OK, I do understand if the man wants to spoil you, but it seemed nasty. Could I say that she came from an impoverished family and she was just getting what she could, when she could??

I often really wondered if she was really a teacher because in some of the conversations we had, she sounded really brainless or dumb. Firstly there was the bad English sentence and grammar structure that cast doubts. Sometimes when us neighbours sat chatting and "gossiping" or when we talked about work, she looked totally blank or had that "catch no ball" expression. One day, I asked her if she found her students cheeky or tiresome or if she had any problems with discipline in class and she looked at me blankly and said that she didn't teach a class but assisted in a child care centre. I don't know if Maria misled J, or he was so infatuated with her that he could only see the wonderful veneer on her.

I never knew what happened of them because I moved out of Changi Village to my own little apartment nearer to civilisation.

Wantan noodles

The best char siew wantan noodles come from this little nondescript coffee shop in the middle of nowhere near my old office. Wantan noodle is not my favourite food; unlike my sister's son Christopher who ate the noodle for recess in school for 2 weeks till he was ill.

This coffee shop is called Soon Heng at the end of Joo Seng Road and Little Road, along Upper Paya Lebar Road.

The noodles are crunchy and tasty with sufficient bite that it does not feel mushy. The char siew pork is lean and well roasted. There are also crispy fried wantons to entice me too. The noodles are tossed in an oil and soya sauce mix that is fragrant. I am pleased to report that there isn't a drop of tomato ketchup in sight at this stall. The soup base is redolent of soya beans, pork and ikan bilis and does not have any MSG added to it.

His soi kow dumplings are also excellent - large and crunchy and well flavoured.

I think the icing on the cake for me with this char siew wantan are the fried lard bits. There is a large container of lard bits and I get lard bits tossed around in my noodles to make them the tastiest noodles as far as I am concerned.

I am there so often that I can order my noodles by just waving at the guy - same for my tea from the drinks stall.

This is bliss!

Decadent strawberries

I was asked if I would blog about the food we ate or the stuff that I cooked in my moments of culinary creativity. I figured - what the heck, just write and maybe one day I could be as famous as Gordon Ramsey or Delia Smith.

We came home from dog training (our regular Sunday afternoon activity) - dog tired from the searing heat, thirsty but not quite hungry. V has fallen asleep and forgotten about the Sunday deal to cook dinner. We thought of going off to the corner coffee shop to forage for some grub but somehow never moved our butts out the door again. So I rummaged the fridge for something light. I had 2 punnets of strawberries from NTUC from last week but somehow never got around to eating them. I figured this would be a good time to have decadent strawberries for dinner.

So easy that any bumbling fool in the kitchen could manage this with 3 ingredients. I started with the 2 punnets of strawberries, washed, hulled and cut into smaller pieces. I dumped the whole lot into a large bowl, hunted around for some booze in the cupboard but couldn't find the Baileys (Irish Whiskey liqueur with cream) but found the Kahlua (coffee liqueur) instead as a good substitute. I poured a very generous glug of Kahlua over the strawberries and tossed it around. The next step would be to put the whole lot into the fridge to chill and macerate till the favours are mixed.

But we went straight for the attack - I took out the can of whipped cream and squirted it all over the strawberries. Good quality vanilla ice-cream from New Zealand Natural is also excellent with the boozy strawberries!

Yeah - now you know why called decadent?

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Gluttony

These past two weeks have been gluttonous weeks. We were eating all the high calorie and cholesterol food - I think it was excessive, but excellent!!

The eating binge started on 21 September when we went to this place in Casuarina Road called Paris to have salted egg yolk crab. Paris is along the same row as that crispy roti prata place, at the other end of the block next to a Japanese restaurant. We went there with friends R & K with their son Luke for their wedding anniversary dinner. The other time we had a memorable dinner with R & K was on 11 September 2001 (yes 9/11) at Village Wok in Geylang, just before they got married and we were talking about wedding preparations. We went home from dinner glued to the telly, incredulous at the happenings appearing on the screen.

The next round of gluttony took place two nights later at Ah Yat at Turf City. It was my sister's son's birthday. The young 7 year old could tell his parents: I want to go to Ah Yat because I like the noodles. Since this is an only child, his parents agreed and off we went to Ah Yat to have another round of salted egg yolk crab. I would say that the Paris preparation of the dish was tastier and the crabs were meatier. Nevertheless, we still enjoyed the crabs.

Then on Saturday, I had to go to church for worship practice. Whilst there, our friends who live in Pasir Ris spotted HH on the MSN messenger and the Char-bor asked as we wanted to have dinner with her and Boy-boy. We agreed since we were hungry and they said to go to somewhere in Pasir Ris where they said that the salted egg yolk crab was good. We went to this coffee shop near Pentecost Methodist Church and ordered dinner of sambal sweet potato leaves, har cheong kai, foo yong egg and salted egg yolk crab!! The dinner was good, the company congenial and we enjoyed ourselves at the windy corner of the coffee shop. However we thought the crab was expensive for what it was because it wasn't as large as what we had at Paris and the taste not as fragant as Ah Yat's although we ate with gusto.

Then we went to this same coffee shop on Wednesday for dinner because we were up in church and had to get to the airport and we were hungry and we took V there for dinner. We ate exactly the same things.

We also discovered Salmon Belly soup at Sushi Tei at Serangoon Road on Friday. We were wondering what to eat and decided that Sushi Tei was the place to head for as it was on the way home, afforded quick food (from the conveyor belt), air-condioned premises and a decent price (meaning not too expensive!!). On the conveyor, I spotted the Salmon Belly soup and decided to try a bowl - on special offer at $6 instead of $8 - and anything at a discount could convince me to try it once. Wow! It was excellent soup - slices of salmon belly in a rich salmon miso broth with tofu cubes, enoki mushrooms, some Japanese cabbage and a few glass noodle strands. I am not a soup person but I slurped it up.

Then on Tuesday night, I felt like that Salmon Belly Soup again so HH and I headed there. This time I took a photograph of our soup and sent it to my glutton friend John to entice him. There was teaser captions of yummy soup, then more teasers of "enoki mushrooms and tofu" and "want some?" to bait him. We went home happy from a satifying meal.

We were in Orchard Road last night and when the topic of DINNER came up, we headed off to Sushi Tei at Paragon. We waited ages for a table, became really famished and ended up over-ordering and over-eating. The walk along part of Orchard Road to catch a bus to the Goo did us some good as exercise.

I am beginning to feel the effects of such gluttony and need to cut back on the scrumptious and decadent meals that we had in the past 2 or 3 weeks.

I am sure we live to eat and not the other way around.

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Taking the bus

We took the bus to Ngee Ann City this afternoon to listen to that vacation chat. We had decided not the drive to Orchard Road. We were at the office and I checked the bus guide - the 65 bus would take us all the way to Orchard Road and drop us off somewhere near there. If we left the Goo at the office and walked out to the bus stop, we would have to walk back to the office, so I told HH that we should park the Goo near the main road and hop on the bus.

So we drove off towards the main road, hunted for a spot near the bus stop that didn't break any traffic laws or incur any parking penalties and left the Goo there. We parked about 10 feet from the bus stop!!

The bus ride to Orchard Road was uneventful. The bus was air-conditioned and we managed to get seats, so the ride was comfortable. However there was this Filipino lady who provided us with entertainment. She was seated directly behind us and she had got onto the bus before we did. During the whole journey, she was on the mobile phone - alternatively talking in Talagog and English. We didn't pay attention to her conversation but she was still at it when we got off for Ngee Ann City.

After our vacation talk, a short walk along Orchard Road and dinner at Sushi Teh with V, we headed for the bus stop near Somerset Station to get onto the 65 bus back to the Goo. The bus would be in around 3 minutes, according to time the bus arrival guide displayed. We quickly got onto the bus and headed upstairs of the double-deck to look for seats.

HH told me to move forward to somewhere near the middle and we found our seats and plonked ourselves into our seats. We observed that there quite a few Indians on the bus and surmised that they would get off along Serangoon Road. A short distance further long, a whole lot of Indians onto the bus at Selegie Road. Our nostrils were assailed by the smell of coconut oil.

Less than 2 minutes earlier, I had offered HH some aromatherapy bergamot oil as he said he was tired and I had taken out my standby White Must perfume oil from Body Shop for myself.

We looked at each other and burst out laughing.

Betul cakap, saya tidak boleh tahan bau minyak kelapa dan bau pelur basi - busuk nya itu wangi hingga boleh muntah!!

I rummaged in my handbag and started dabbing my White Musk perfume oil again on my wrists to mask the nauseating odours.

Saya tahan itu bau busuk hingga kita sampai tempat kita letak kereta.

The bus ride back to the Goo was long and ardous - I guess we were tired from walking along Orchard Road, also taking into consideration the great BA-OO (or smells) I had to tahan.

It was a great relief to get off the bus and get back onto the Goo.

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Time Share Holidays

A few days ago, I received a phone call from a guy named Johnny who wanted to share with me about vacations - actually a time share under disguise as a "holiday plan". My phone (flat batt) died on me and I didn't bother with it again.

Then yesterday, Johnny called me again and said he wanted to intro holidays to me. I recognised his voice so I told him that he had called me previously. Anyway, as a reward for listening to the holiday idea Johnny said that I would be given $100 worth of dining vouchers at Marriott - yeah I am a glutton for anything that says FOOD, so I said OK and persuaded HH that he had to go as well today.

We arrived at Ngee Ann City and made our way to the Marriot Vacation talk. Whilst we were waiting, HH and I strategised about our answers and how we were going to react to the sales pitch and how we were going to wrangle our way out of buying a holiday.

Some guy met us and took us to a desk to chat about holidays. After some pleasantries, he asked about our holiday plans and where we go on holiday and how we planned our holidays. So I told him that HH and I travelled so much for our work that our idea of a holiday would be to just stay at home and do nothing.

Then continuing on that thread - I told this guy that there were occasions where we got up in the morning and wondered which city we were in. After a while, all hotel rooms look the same and sometimes, we forget our hotel room numbers or get them mixed up. :D ))

I also fed him the story of my friend Vivien who works for a telco company and how she went to Hong Kong for a meeting for 5 days - left Singapore early on Monday morning and returned on Friday evening, had a hot dirty weekend with her husband and disappeared to Kuala Lumpur for another 2 days for another round of meetings. Then her husband went off for work for 2 weeks and they hadn't really spent much time together that month!! BTW this is a true story that Vivien told me. Horror for trying to maintain a marriage or any relationship, as far as I know.

I think this guy knew that he could not sell us anything because we filled in the form or questionnaire and our answers were hilarious.

One question was: how many days do you spend on holidays - and the Marriott idea of holiday is NOT BUSINESS TRAVEL or staying with relatives, and my answer was ZERO.

Another question was: what is your idea of your an ideal holiday. My answer: besides the "stay home, do nothing" answer, I wrote "sleep, no phone/internet/email, beach, book, someone to do cleaning".

A question on where was the last holiday we took elicited the answer: Sentosa Island for 4 hours, Malacca, Penang and Kuala Lumpur.

Can you imagine the guy mentally shaking his head in horror at my answers??

Anyway, we got the information on how these time share holidays worked, the cost and our commitment.

Our next ideal holiday? STAY HOME AND DO NOTHING, GET SOMEONE TO DO THE HOUSEWORK AND LAUNDRY!!

That's good enough - no need to impress people with exotic locations - we only need to impress ourselves!

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Goo Vehicle Inspection

We sent the Goo for the vehicle inspection test required for all commercial registered vehicles in Singapore. This has been an annual affair since we got the Goo on 11 October 2000. The Goo has to pass this test before we can renew the road tax.

Since October 2006 Singapore adopted the Euro 4 standard for diesel engines. Our Goo has a Euro 2 diesel engine. So we wondered how we were going to do for the carbon emission test. In previous years, we passed the inspection with no problems. Last year, we also passed the test but we were warned for the broken tail light cover. I told the vehicle test centre that the agent didn't have the spare part so we couldn't change the cover and they let us go. OK - I lied because we were just too lazy to get it fixed. :-p

This time, we were in trepidation again because we don't really do very much about maintaining our Goo. We always tell folks around us that our Goo is agent maintained. No lie - we are totally agent maintained - all our servicing and washing since we started driving the Goo. We do very little maintenance other than the occasional coolant and tire pressure check. Excellent right?

The lower the score, the better the rating. The worse score acceptable is 50 where the carbon emissions are bad, but not so bad that it will fail the test. Anything over 50 is considered FAIL and a re-test is required.

The test inspector told us that we passed the whole test with the exception of the light alighment balance. Apparently all vehicles fail the light alighment test because going to humps and bumps will just throw the alignment off. The guy just gave me the PASS CERTIFICATE and was surprised when I asked for the test results sheet and more specifically the carbon emission reading.

The Goo received a rating of 13.5 - the guy told us that for a vehicle of our great age, the Goo is doing very well.

GOO PASSED THE TEST WITH FLYING COLOURS!!!

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Asshole clients and moving office

I have a pair of clients who are really asshole type as far as I am concerned and I am so pissed with them. Before you start wondering about how I can make such a judgement call on them, please note that I have known them for 12 years and seen through all their nonsense. I met Steven and Winston when I was working for my ex-boss. Steven went to university with him.

When they could not afford my fees, they offered me office space in exchange. They still owe me so much money that I am ahead of them.

They have had various companies over the years that sell sports equipment (fitness equipment for schools and specialty sports flooring) and playgrounds (rubber flooring and the equipment). They will set up a company, tender for jobs, mess around with whatever they do, take the profit out, and when the mess gets too great, they make use of the limited liability thing in companies, cease operations and start another company. They take over all the projects remaining, take the assets and make their staff continue in the new company.

So this is the story of woe of their staff. For many years, they only have one staff - a Malay lady named Gima who has been with them for 10 years. They have had sales people and in their mind, the sales people "cannot make it".

This posting chronicles the events of the last two weeks that have absolutely messed people around till they deserve divine retribution for the shit they have created.

About two Saturdays ago, Winston called HH and told him that we would have to move our office out because the landlord was pissed with them for not paying the outstanding rental. On Monday, I went to my little office to assess the situation and decide about what to take out and what do dump. I didn't say anything to Gima about moving or what else that was bothering them. I just casually informed Gima that she should be looking for another job.

In Gima's usual manner - she said "see how first" and this was the same response I received from her in the last 5 years everytime I told her that her bosses were messing with her and she should quit.

I told Gima to quit many times - I am sure over 100 times - because Winston and Steven really mess with her. They hold back her salary, pay part of the month and drag the rest, tell her to come back on Saturday and all the shit you can imagine. Their excuse for such behaviour was "no money to pay" or "money situation is tight" or "our fund is held up" - you name it, they have given all the crap excuses.

On Saturday, I went to the office to pack more stuff and decided to move on Tuesday 30 September 2008. On Tuesday morning, I went to see the landlord and asked them to hold the mail for me as a favour as I needed to make arrangements to change the office addresses for some of my clients. I also informed him that my movers were on the way, and that I was moving my stuff out. However, the instruction was already given to terminate the electrical supply to the office.

I went upstairs and told HH that the terminate power instruction had been given and it was a matter of time. Then I went next door and told Steven of the termination instruction. He just looked at me expressionless. I walked back to my office to continue packing with HH. Five minutes later, the power supply was cut. My movers had come, but there was no power supply for the lights.

The landlord's manager came to our office to check if I was really moving or I was just messing around. He saw the movers and very kindly turned the power back on for me to move my stuff out. Just before that, Steven walked out of the office and left Gima and the other girl in the office. Steven said he was going to meet Winston to discuss the situation.

In the past two weeks since I received the "move office" instruction from Winston, I have been telling Gima to look for another job because Winston and Steven were planning to move out of the office to Woodlands and would be killing herself to move to there with them. I got the usual reply of "see how first" reply. However I did manage to persuade Gima to go for an interview with a friend of mine. In Gima's mind, she was going to Woodlands with them and she couldn't give my friend an answer on a start date.

So on Tuesday, when the power supply was terminated - she was stunned. All the things I was telling her was coming true in front of her eyes. Those arse idiots abandoned her in the office. They hadn't paid her salary, and the next day would be Hari Raya. She was going to wait in the office for them.

So I called them with a real sandiwara wayang story about the shit they inflicted on Gima. I told them that Gima started crying because she was totally stunned by the turn of events. I was moving my office, the power supply got cut, Steven left her in the office with no further instructions and with all her domestic issues, she was falling apart. Winston told me that he would let her have some money for Raya (they were going to hold her money or renegade on paying) and he said he would have to borrow from me first. So late on Tuesday evening, I handed her $750 from Winston ($250 from his pocket and $500 borrowed from me). The look of relief on Gima's face was unbelievable as I had managed to extract cash from them.

This morning, Gima came to work in my friend's office as he had offered her a job when she came for the interview. However, I decided that I should do another Academy Award acting job with Winston to get cash from them for Gima.

Winston called me on my mobile then switched off the phone, knowing that I would call him back. I told Winston that Gima didn't get the job with my friend because in her mind, she was going to Woodlands so she could not confirm a start date. My friend wanted her to start immediately and could not wait for her. I told Winston that he still had an employee waiting for him. He expressed shock that she didn't start work with her new employee because she had informed him that she was leaving their employment.

I told him that I could only get her an interview but I could not force her to take the job. She could not confirm a start date with my friend, and since he could not wait for her and offered the job to another person. I fibbed that I had hired her son to help me with the office move and sorting of papers, so her son was in the office with me. Gima was still home waiting for either one of them to call her. Her son had said that his mother had sent the youngest brother to school and came home to wait for them to call her. I also knew that they could not get into the office so they didn't call her because they could not figure out what to do. I told Winston that I could not hire her because Gima was still under their employment.

I think Winston was stunned - he tried to get off the phone but he had to listen to me tell him off and about his responsibilities to his staff. Winston and Steven have effectively left their staff (the Malay salesman, a China girl designer and Gima) jobless by virtue of their selfishness.

NOW YOU KNOW WHY I CALL THEM ASSHOLE CLIENTS?? FULL OF SHIT!!!

Hari Raya Aidilfitri observations

Today is Hari Raya Aidilfitri - a celebration by the Muslims that lasts for 30 days after they have fasted for 30 days from sun up to sun down. In Singapore, the Muslims are predominately Malays.

The Muslims will be out in their Raya best clothes. They would usually be dressed in the same coloured outfits - yes - parents and kids in clothes sewed from the same bolt of material. Each family would be dressed in the same colour, and when they gather in different homes - there would be a myriad of colours. I think this phenomena is more prevalent in Singapore rather than Malaysia.

Some time back, a Muslim girlfriend of mine Gima and I were discussing names of people. Gima had informed me that a Muslim convert should use their new Muslim name as there was signficance in name. For want of a better example, when Cat Stevens (a stage name) became a Muslim, he changed his name to Yusuf Islam and should forsake his real Greek name Steven Demetre Georgiou. Otherwise a person name Tan Ah Kow could now be name Abdullah Tan or Abdullah Ah Kow to signify his new religion and status.

Gima's reasoning for this was that Yusuf Islam would be a name that has a deeper meaning. Gima also mentioned that other names didn't have any significant meaning either and only Malay or Muslim names were significant.

I told her that she was shallow in her observations. I also told her that there were names that were significant in Islam that are also significant in Christianity. So names like Moses and John become Musa and Johan in Islam or Malay.

Then I told her that some families could trace their lineage or ancestry or geneology by the centuries - in my family, our ancestral home still exists in the village and there is a person who records the names of the people. So this was a case of "Roots" by Alex Hayley or Kunta Kinte being practised by family historians.

I asked Gima if she knew the name of her great-grandfather or the origins of her family - which village they come from or their ancestry. She sheepishly admitted that she only knew up to her grandfather because she knew her father's name. Alamak - susah lah ini orang!! Dia semacam katak di bawah tempurung!!!

So I told Gima about the families who dressed in clothes that were sewed from the same bolt of material - they had to be in the same clothes to be identified as "se keluarga dan sama sedarah" because of their lack of a surname.

I do pray for my Muslim girlfriend to open her eyes and her mind to being part of a larger society and not deem or think that there is only one path which she feels is the only way.

JB Jeyaretnam

I heard this morning over the radio that Mr JB Jeyaretnam passed away. This is not a political posting

Mr JBJ was a colourful political character in Singapore with his clipped English accent and trademakr mutton chop beard.

When I first started work as a lowly paid legal clerk in a defunct law firm many years ago, I would bump into him in court. I do remember going to his law office to exchange documents with his clerk. In those days, I think his office was either at Colombo Court or High Street Centre. I do remember the other legal clerks talking about him about his "garang" nature and how he would battle for his clients' rights and fight tooth and nail for justice. Even though JBJ had a "garang" nature, he was never rude or arrogant to all who approached him for help.

There are also memories of him selling the Hammer paper on Sunday mornings at Geylang Serai Market. I would greet him "good morning", buy a paper and go home to read his alternative views.

In later years, JBJ was "silenced" by circumstances. He had my sympathies but I would do nothing because I don't getting involved in Singapore politics by virtue of my foreigner status.

Singapore will be less colourful with the loss of JBJ.

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Foreigners in Singapore

This posting on foreigners in Singapore is long overdue with the hooha going on in the past few weeks. Before anyone thinks that I am here to blast or praise foreigners in Singapore, let me state that I am a foreigner or foreign talent in Singapore; depending on how you look at the situation but I am so localised that few people would guess of my "expatriate" status ;-p

There are two types of foreigners or expatriates in Singapore - the lowly paid work permit holders and the highly paid P1 classification employment pass holders. The lowly paid work permit holder would attract the terms "kling" or "bangla" or "cheenapek" in the most derogatory tone.

First I guess I should share my thoughts about the proposal to have 1,500 lowly paid work permit holder expatriates live in an old school in Serangoon Gardens and the brouhaha that created with the residents there. The gamut of complaints ranged from "lowering the values of the properties" to increased crime and what have you. I won't say that I am for or against these foreign workers living in Serangoon Gardens, but I would like the authorities to think about the living conditions in the whole equation.

The disused school proposed as a residence for the these foreign workers was not purpose built as a residence. IT WAS BUILT TO BE A SCHOOL so many years ago. Nobody would be living on the grounds with the exception of the caretaker. How on earth would the authorities expect the premises to cope with 1,000 people living on the grounds. The toilet facilities would not be able to cope, to say the least!! Imagine the queues of people using the toilet facilities - that would be a logistical nightmare. Yes, I believe that there will be improvements made to the existing facilities but I seriously do not think that the whole area will be able to cope.

The traffic jam to get in or out of the estate would be madness. It is already heavily congested and it will get worse with these foreign workers living there. The human congestion would also be bad.

Serangoon Gardens was not built to handle that sort of human traffic. Plus there are plans to re-develop the old cinema there into some swanky new shopping centre in future. With this "village" closing there will be more stress on the remaining facilities. As it is now, it is almost impossible to get a seat at Chomp Chomp makan centre unless you go really early or late. If you get there too early, the stalls are not opened. If you get there too late, they are closed or are closing and are running out of food. What a catch 22 situation.

Then I have lots of comments about what would be the other end of the expat spectrum. These are the high fliers who come to Singapore to and hold P1 employment passes for a start and then may "graduate" to become Permanent Residents.

These people will attract the term "ang mo" and would be held in awe by the rest of the local populace. I suppose the phrase "Pinkerton Syndrom" would be good - The Pinkerton Syndrome is a derogatory Singaporean term describing the tendency of some local Asians who tend to consider Caucasians superior, usually having a bias towards favouring Caucasians over locals.
The term traces its origins from the character of Lieutenant B. F. Pinkerton in Puccinni's opera Madame Butterfly.

So do I start with the good or bad of these angmos who come to Singapore and think they have made it in life. At the risk of sounding jealous of these people in Singapore, I beg to differ because I am not interested in their so called posh lifestyle, but I am sick of them in Singapore.

The men come out here and suddenly, they think they are God's gift to women. The local girls or the Sarong Party Girl (SPG) throws herself at him in the most subservient manner. Some of these girls think that the angmoh man is her passport out of Singapore so she will do what she can to land herself the coveted MRS title. Sigh!!

These men come out with a full expat package - international school paid for, Volvo xC90 as part of the car package, an accomodation package that would be an apartment or a house in the expat enclaves of Holland Village, Orchard Road, Bukit Timah or where there are the posh supersmarket, maid allowance, two trips home to their home country, entertainment package and all the trappings of luxury that seem to go with the job. The package could be something in the region of $30,000 a month for the low end posting.

These people who come out here are SO BLOODY RUDE that it is sometimes quite impossible to tolerate them. Last month, the office was shooting a series for a TV show (watch out for it in October 2008) at Turf City. We were there for 4 Saturdays, so I think I am good authority on their idiotic behaviour. The angmos use the fields at Turf City for some recreation on weekends - there is football, rugby, cricket, baseball - all in little enclaves. They drive to Turf City and then start behaving badly. They park and refuse to give way. They cause traffic jams with their inconsiderate ways. In a traffic jam situation, they do not give way or drive in the most inconsiderate manner. They cut you off most rudely . They act arrogantly like Singapore owes them a lot. This is just at Turf City where we encounter their rudeness.

Elsewhere they cut queues at the check out counter at the supermarket, they cut you off at the MRT escalators or on the roads or at the lifts, they show great impatience at "slow" service or having to wait a little longer than what they deem acceptable as waiting time.

They think their money is very big - to use a very SINGLISH term - but they are nothing big, just assholes who come out here. When I was a student in England, I was told to blend in, be like them but to hold onto our Asian manners. So what happened to these people when they come out from England - do they try to blend in?? Not really - they acquire more airs and graces and think that they have arrived by virtue of their expat posting. From the sound of the accent they utter from their mouths, I can tell that back home in England - they were from some village or council estate.

To the Singaporeans out there, please remember that some of these people have never travelled out of their village or country until they got a posting to the exotic Far East as a reward for their hard work. They would really be considered "kampung" folk or country bumpkins. Back home, they would be watching their budgets, shopping in Tesco or Sainsbury for their groceries, taking the bus and train to work and are ordinary folk. The sudden grandeur of wealth has gone into their heads and they have puffed their egos.

So do I sound disgruntled??? I am just sick of their rudeness, arrogance, patronising and condescending manner.

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First Night Race

This evening, we came home early from dog training and found all the car parks lots in our regular area full - and it was really early around 7 pm. We wondered the event and realiased that it is exam week starting tomorrow and tonight is the first ever NIGHT RACE for the Grand Prix.

So we just eat fruit for dinner because we are just too hot and tired to think about going out for dinner or to cook - and turned on the TV for some "excitement" from this Singapore Grand Prix.

Nothing exciting except for 2 guys talking away about the race. Then the race starts and we have these cars racing around the track - I can imagine the noise, the heat, the dust from the TV screens - but I am strangely detached from this event. Yes, there was some excitement when some guy crashed his car against the side barrier, then there was his voice to say that he is OK. Then the safety cars come dashing out to the rescue. I am little anxious for his safety rather than excitement of this race.

Sigh! I guess AGE is catching up with me.

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Beta Torrent

This is BETA TORRENT our West Highland White Terrier who came to live with us on 5 February 2008. He was born on 27 September 2007 in Australia. This slightly late post is for his birthday as he is now a year old.

Papa came up with the name because BETA means NOT ALPHA and also something about beta versions of software being the first version. TORRENT because he comes at us like a torrent of energy! He is called Torrent or Torri for short. So far, we have received some incredulous looks and queries about his name, but this is what happens when you get a computer tech guy to name a dog.

Do not be deceived by his sweetie-pie or cutie-pie looks – HE CAN BE QUITE HORRIBLE. Torrent harasses Junior non-stop till he is tired and goes off to sleep. Torrent has boundless energy till we are tired. Junior now seeks refuge from the torrent of energy by getting onto the sofa or hurrying to our bed. He also looks at us desperately to put Torrent into the play pen so that we can all get some peace.

Torrent gets along with the cats – Fat Boy, Bandit and Easter. Fat Boy is extremely tolerant and will indulge his attacks. But Fat Boy also has his limits too and will slap Torrent when he is fed-up. Bandit maintains her distance and has only hissed and raised her fur in anger. She spends a lot of time eye-balling him from her lofty perch on top of the furniture. Torrent is smart to keep out of the way till she can accept his invasion of her apartment and spaces. Easter has raised her heckles, smacked him and now walks around ignoring his advances and requests for play.

In his first year (or 9 months or so with us), he has learnt more than basic obedience and can be quite well behaved, although he has his lapses. He goes to the training ground and has plenty of fun running around, chasing his squeak toy and making friends with other dogs. Torrent is sometimes used as a demo dog at training to show what a small doggie should be able to do. BTW, he has never been to formal dog training school - totally home schooled by us. This is so unlike Junior who now has a PhD in obedience by doing the conventional dog training school thing.

Torrie is totally food driven and will do anything for his dinner, treats and snacks. He will sit, shake hands, down, wait, drool and then attack his dinner with gusto. After he is scoffed his meal, he will disturb Junior for what's left in the bowl - NOTHING!!

Torrent sleeps with us on the bed too - he will sleep next to me, rest his head on my foot or some part of my body. He will also sleep between us with his four legs in the air on the pillow. Sometimes, he heads for the top of the bed at the pillows where he cozies with FatBoy. He is a noisy dog for sleeping - he grunts, groans and SNORES in his sleep. He wakes up when he hears the radio, and starts his grunting and strange howling and licking our faces for his breakfast.

Yes, I do think Torrent is adding to the fun at home.

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Singapore Grand Prix

There is a lot of buzz in Singapore these days with the F1 coming later this month. The newspapers have reports, Mediacorp has this dumb show called Singtel Grid Girls - full of bimbos, the bars have concocted all sorts of boozy drinks - all to make people spend money on a whole lot of hype.

OK, I went to the Singapore Grand Prix years ago!! Huh? What Grand Prix in Singapore?? OK, this post will show my vintage somewhat. Years ago in the 1970's, I went to the Grand Prix races in Singapore - YES, SINGAPORE!!!

So this one coming DOES NOT get me excited - this is part of my droll "been there, seen that and done it, so what's new" attitude.

The race track was up at Upper Thomson Road near Casuarina Road where the roti prata shop is located. The track was some long winding road with lots of twists and turns. There was this turn called the hair pin turn. The race track still exists today beside the jungle or bush of Seletar Reservoir. It is a favourite haunt amongst lovers looking for a quiet spot to have some nookie. The

HH and I have driven along this road a couple of times just for the fun of a car ride with our doggies and we have spotted cars at quiet spots with newspapers covering all their windows.

My godfather was a journalist with Nanyang Siang Pau and he had these tickets to the GrandPrix. I don't even remember if these were grandstand tickets, but we were seated at some stand with lots of seats and had a good view of the race track and the finish line.

I don't really remember much - Loong had been to one the previous year, so he was seasoned. He told me to get my notebook and to write down all the car numbers that zoomed passed us. Loong also told me to try to count how many times we spotted a particular car going around where we were seated. What would you expect from kids? We had absolutely no idea how many laps the cars would go around the circuit. We had no idea who these drivers were. We were just so excited to watch all these cars zooming past our seats. We jumped up and down and cheered lustily and loudly everytime some car we identified as ours came by. It was excitement when the chequered flag went down.

There was the smell of burning rubber and petrol fumes and the dust swirling in the wake of these cars that kept the excitement going for us.

I remember we spent the whole day at the races and had great fun as we could eat and drink all the junk food galore around. There was soda pop and yummy chicken sandwiches and cocktail sausages and all sorts of things to munch on.

This Singapore Grand Prix does not hold much excitement for me - the tickets are overpriced and the whole event is over-rated with hype.

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Singtel Grid Girls

There is this new show on Channel 5 in celebration of the F1 race in Singapore which starts in September 2008. It is called SINGTEL GRID GIRLS.

It is the most dumb show I caught on telly in a long time. I think it is some reality show sort of thing featuring a bevy of girls - actually they look and behave like brainless BIMBOS - doing all sorts of stupid things on TV. I cannot remember how many of them are in this show.

In the first episode that was televised, these girls were given a list of things to "treasure hunt" for. They had to convince the public to part with their items (shoes, clothes, accessories etc) that were in RED.

So you have this bunch of bimbos running around in teams grabbing whatever they can in RED from members of the public - they managed to swipe a watch, a skirt, handbag amongst other stuff.

These girls sure know how to act like simpering idiots and brainless bimbos. They don't speak well - some of them speak with some sort of fake accent with a marble in their mouths. Otherwise they speak in the typical Singlish manner of half finished words and bad pronunciation.

They cannot act and they try to ham it up for the cameras. Yeah, I know it is a TV show and they are supposed to be GRID GIRLS, but such behaviour??

What are these girls trying to proof - they are bimbos or Sarong Party Girls or what??

I seriously believe that these girls give women bad press.

Please Singtel - I am sure you have better stuff to sponsor than to waste your shareholders' money on such a brainless show.

If I want such bimbo type of action, I will head to the pick up joints frequented by the desperado women for the insecure ang mo man who thinks he is God's gift to women in Singapore.

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Telco Customer Service

Sometime last month, I was instructed by Dad - please get in touch with Singtel to fix the problem with my pre-paid SIM card as it cannot be recognised by the phone.

I also had a problem with the collection and/or delivery of a broadband device from Singtel.

So I decided that I should get in touch with LHK who is with Singtel and so far my only saviour for sanity in dealing with Singtel.

This is the story of my woes:

My client asked me to sign for broadband services and this stick USB connection for the office. He was busy, so I signed for it. I provided the business profile, completed the form and signed for everything. Some human delivered the wireless modem router to the office and installed it for us – no problem. Then SingPost was tasked to send that USB stick to us. In the midst of moving we could not find the company rubber stamp. When SingPost came the first time, we weren’t in. When they came the second time, I could not find the rubber stamp. I offered my IC to the delivery guy to verify that I am the person who applied for the service. He said: No letter of authority, no rubber stamp – NO MODEM. I told him to go back and decided to take the matter with Singtel.

Then of course I had that SIM card problem so two "problems" warranted disturbing LHK.

Shortly after that email to LHK, I received a phone call from his colleague Y. Y said that she would arrange for a new SIM card to replace the faulty one and for us to keep the number. Y also said that she would look into the matter of that broadband devide and I could collect both at the same time. On the day agreed that I would go to the Singtel Shop at 31 Exeter Road to get the new SIM card in exchange for dad's faulty card I started my headache.

OK, this is why I started the blog - to rant about stuff that bother me.

I arrived at the shop and went to the information counter - I told my story of the faulty SIM and collection of the modem. The guy asked for my name and the mobile number, looked at his computer screen and said - Yes, it is in the system. Hooray - no hitch there. I took a queue number from him and waited for the 5 persons in front of me to clear. When I was I turn, I went to the counter and told the young man there my story of the SIM card - his first answer to me was: CANNOT, YOU NEED TO BUY A NEW SIM CARD AND YOUR STORED VALUE WILL BE GONE.

I told him that I had made arrangements for a replacement SIM and he was adamant that it could not be done. I stood my ground but my blood pressure was already going up. The customer service guy at the next counter then told this young man - better check behind for that special SIM. So this young man went behind to check for the special SIM. Lo and behold, he came out with the replacement SIM.

Then came the registration of the SIM card - they insisted that I needed to give them my particulars for this SIM because they need to register it to someone. The number was registered to dad - they have his particulars, but the idiots insisted that the Infocomm Development Authority (IDA) want to have mine. OK, to avoid my blood pressure going up anymore, I let them register the SIM in my name. I am going to take the matter up with IDA on how stupid the system is.

Then came the problem of that broadband device. There was a mix-up in the communications and the modem never made it to the Singtel shop. The poor store manager spent about 15 minutes hunting all over the store room at the back for a huge box (for a large modem) but couldn't find anything. I finally received the modem from the girl who had signed for our line. I had been at Exeter Road from 10 am to 12:15 pm and was late for my lunch appointment.

I have come to the conclusion that Singtel maybe good at the services they provide - basic telephony, mobile, broadband and whatever else, the people individually are wonderful, but they are so big and large that they have absolutely no idea what is going on around them. Do they live in outer space??

Shankar

You must be wondering what this post is about and why it is labled "Shankar". We had this young man from Myanmar come join us in the office in March 2008. His name is Shankar. He is of Indian origin but hails from Myanmar. He joined the office as a junior software programmer.

I guess I have to ventilate my woes about Shankar and one of the reasons for starting this blog was so that I could rant in cyberspace.

SHANKAR IS TOTALLY IDIOTIC!!

Let's see - I shall start with his posture. Shankar is tall - over 6 foot tall. He cannot walk straight because he hunches and slouches. He looks like a hulking gorilla because of his bad posture. I have told him to straighten up - he makes a conscious effort at that moment, but he goes back into his slump almost immediately after. OK, I cannot change his posture but I have made the effort to make him look better (somehow!), I think. Shankar agrees with me that he looks better standing straight, but his excuse is that he cannot remember.

The next part of his idiotic ways - he cannot come to work on time! From the time Shankar started with us in the old office till today, he has not been able to come to work on time. He started work on 10 March 2008. The official office hours are 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. - just like any other regular office. Shankar's excuse for not coming in earlier or not being able to make it on time is the bad bus service. He told me that he has to wait up to 40 minutes for the bus that takes him to the interchange for him to take the MRT to the office. His routing is something like this - bus to Clementi MRT station, train to Outram Park, change trains for Potong Pasir and walk 20 minutes to the office.

I showed him the bus timings on the SBS Transit website which stated that buses will be at the bus stop every 7 to 10 minutes during peak hours. So who is he trying to bluff?? I may drive, but I do take buses too. I have complained to the CEO of the bus company when there was tardy bus service.

Shankar informed me that he gets up at 6:30 am and leaves home at 7:30 am and a lot of the time is spent waiting for the buses that come late. When I told him that he should sleep earlier so that he can wake up earlier, he informed me that he cannot sleep too early because it interferes with the digestion of his dinner. He also informed me that the body needs 8 hours of sleep to function properly. Haha!! What about the rest of us who do not get more than 6 hours of sleep every night? We cannot function properly, right??

I told Shankar that all of us have the same stuff to do - get up, get to work, do laundry, make dinner, do ironing, tidy or whatever, so what excuse does he have for not being able to cope? I know lots of guys and gals who live away from home and have to cope and still make it to work on time plus work overtime to boot.

CIO told Shankar that we are in the office by about 8:30 a.m. and asked Shankar what time he considers that it is OK to be here in the office. Shankar told CIO - I will be here by 9:30 a.m. When CIO asked him how long he intended to stay till to make up the shortfall in the official working times, Shankar informed CIO that he would stay till 6:30 p.m. So does this mean that we all have to stay till 6:30 p.m. to lock the door after him??

Sometime back in the old office, I told Shankar that the Employment Act states that a work week is 44hour week. I informed Shankar that the office only works a 40 hour week. Since he is always late for work by about 1 hour, he only works about 35 hours a week. He kept quiet. He must have thought about my statement and he came back with this rejoinder: boss told him that his performance is not measured by the hours BUT BY HIS OUTPUT AND WORK. OK, point noted but can we look at the standard of his work?? I noticed that he could not even follow the instructions given by boss and that he's slow in giving the completed task to boss. So the least he could do would be to try to make it on time to the office.

This is an example of how Shankar cannot follow instructions given to him and cannot handle stress. He was told by boss to demonstrate to me some website that he had designed and explain the functions on the site. He gave me the web address for me to look at it. So when I started "torturing" the site as a dummy, I noted some bugs. I told Shankar to fix the bugs and not to put in any other enhancements. Boss told him to fix the bugs and make sure that the work is consistent. BUT THE FELLOW CANNOT DO THAT. He was making more enhancements without knowing what the hell he's doing - his enhancements were some flashing bit on the front page which were meaningless sentences. When I asked him what those sentences were - he could not explain to me. The work was not consistent and boss already told him THREE TIMES where the errors were. I spotted these errors without boss telling me what to look for.

Then when I told him about the bugs and the errors that he was supposed to fix, he got stressed. He set his own deadline to fix the problem when I asked him how long it would take to fix. He told me within 3 hours, so I asked if he was going for lunch. He said NO PROBLEM. Then before the 3 hours were over, he came and told me that he was not able to fix the problem and would need more time.

When I "scolded" him, he got stressed and got a huge headache and went off home to sleep it off. Shankar cannot work under pressure. When he is stressed by the "enormous" task put in front of him, he will have a headache and have to go home to take medicine. We do have Panadol for aches and pains in the office, but he cannot take that. Shankar has to take his special medicine from Peninsula Plaza.

SHANKAR IS IRRESPONSIBLE!!

Shankar is also capable of going AWOL and being irresponsible. On 1 August, I had a client meeting in the morning. CIO came to the office to give him some work to do and left him with the workmen all around. I came back to the office around lunch time to tell him to go for lunch and to check on the progress of the renovation work. When I got to the office, Shankar wasn't in. The electrician informed me that Shankar had gone for lunch. So I waited an hour for him to get back and started making phone calls. Then I decided that I should drive to check out the power supply connection with Singapore Power. On the way to Singapore Power, I called Shankar to tell him that I was going out and would be back. I asked him where he was. He told me that he had gone to Peninsula Plaza to have lunch. I asked him why he had to go there for lunch - BTW we are out in MacPherson Road. He said that he went to Peninsula Plaza to have lunch and had hurt his back so he had to get his medicine there. I asked him if he had informed anyone that he was leaving the office - he said NO, he was going to do it later. I asked how late and he said after lunch and taking the medicine. I told him that he was fired for leaving his post without permission. He quickly telephoned boss to tell of his "sickness". Later boss called me to check on something, and I casually mentioned about Shankar leaving the office. Boss said that Shankar informed him, at 2 p.m. and that was after I had yelled at him. SIGH!! I told Shankar that in Myanmar, the military junta shoot soldiers for leaving their posts without informing their commanders. I think he understood that bit.

SHANKAR HAS AN EXCUSE FOR EVERYTHING that you tell him where he went wrong or committed some error. He cannot come to work early because he has to wait 4o minutes for the bus. CIO told him that we should move the office closer to his home so that he didn't have to travel so far to work. It would be better if we moved the office to Myanmar to his home so that he doesn't have to leave home to get to work.

I told him that he has to work harder and faster and apply his brains more to the work at hand. He gave me the analogy that the work is like a big pot of rice. You cannot eat too fast because you will be sick, so in the same breath he is working but it cannot be done too fast because he cannot apply all that he has learnt.

He told me that he was a web developer in Myanmar, but I noted that he had problems with his web design. He then informed me that he was the project lead. I told him that if he were the project lead, he would know what the hell was going on and he would know all the steps. However looking at him now, he is floundering and drowning in the work.

Shankar has a problem understanding English. When you ask him something, he will answer YES if the answer is meant to be negative. He will also answer NO if it is meant to be YES and then totally confuse all the people around. It is really comic - I cannot describe it because it has to be seen and heard to be believed!!

I have been counselling Shankar about his lateness and his work performance. He has always told me "Yes Didi, I will improve", but so far to no avail but great dispair for us. Sometimes I think it is no use being kind or understanding or trying to motivate a person who has no drive.

I have been given instructions to cancel Shankar's work pass and get his tax clearance. Hooray!!

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